This is how she sleeps lately.
Hugging or touching my head.
Okay. I suppose I’ll play.
Dear god today was rough.
First, Chloe pours her juice out in the living room. Okay, cool. I wipe it up and mop.
Then I go in the back for 48 seconds and come back to a baby and kitchen floor covered in soy sauce, it was a large bottle.
Okay. Bathe baby.
Husband informs me that he’s going to the Failure show in Houston with a bunch of guys. I already feel lonely, stressed and overwhelmed. So yeah, fight ensues.
Spill large container of sesame seeds all over. In my annoyance I go buy plants to make my yard look pretty. Start to feel a little better.
Cook an amazing supper. CHOKE ON STEAK. Not a little choke, like oh I coughed. Like, I couldn’t breathe. I felt it lodged in my throat and try to drink water and choke WORSE. I stand up, water goes all over, Tim says are you okay!? I shake my head no and start to panic. I’m going to pass out from lack of oxygen in front of clo. If he calls 911 will they get here in time? I’m only 4 min from the hospital… Tim hits my back before trying the heimlich, but that loosens it enough that I can cough it up.
Good Friday is not so good for me.
I want a dog that can run with me. Carter behaves so badly and has hip problems.
A girl just posted on Facebook “ignore my posts about getting healthy, but so and so lost 7 lbs in his first week of using yor health”. What? Sure. Instead of doing something and eating better, I’ll just take these crazy herbal substitutes that are probably laced with speed. No thanks. I’d rather stay fat if that’s my option. Facebook has taught me self control. For realz.
Why can’t I sleep??
Tim and I fought the other night. He’s gone a lot. Which is cool, I like/need my alone time. But the house is a wreck. I need to work. The dog is a shit. And my kid hates life. I was beyond stressed when he told me he had practice and wasn’t coming home after work. Then he had a gig, so he wouldn’t be home until 2am. Which doesn’t help alleviate the crazy kid issue since she was asleep. As was I.
Sometimes I just get tired of being alone.
I need to do my sales taxes for this month. Procrastinationnnn.
Chloe is awesome. I’m hoping she’s plumping up but I’m worried she’s not doing so fast enough. I just don’t know what to do. Drug my kid so she’ll eat and sleep all the time? Feed her pure sugar, essentially? That’s what the doctor wants. I haven’t done any of that, though. I just keep food available and feed her all.the.time. And make her nutritious and calorie packed smoothies at least once a day. Usually twice.
Parenting is hard. We should have been better prepared for this.
This has been my life the last few weeks. And I have 5 sessions I’m editing currently. And 2 weddings coming up. And a couple more shoots.
So I want to start jogging. I’m walking a lot, at a fast steady pace, like a slow jog. But I’m not someone who is meant to have stamina. It’s not an excuse, it’s just what it is. But I still want to do it.
So I had done really well today with eating. But this afternoon and night got really rough. So I had some ice cream.
Not much. But yeah. I need sleep.
I’m hitting it pretty hard, this eating clean and well thing. I’m in enough of a groove that I don’t think I’m going to count calories anymore. I pretty much can tell when I’ve had enough, and I eat basically the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday, so that leaves me with about 800-1000 calories left for dinner and a snack. Which is more than doable. And that’s if I don’t exercise, which I do most days.
Thanks, arborescent, for the fresh20 idea, I bought the cookbook and I’m in love!